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Sunday, February 28, 2010

What do you do when...

What do you do when you feel like there is absolutely no one on your side? I ask this question because never in my life have I felt as alone as I have the last few days. I have allowed myself to sacrifice friendship in exchange for the love of someone who has really let me down lately. I can't imagine there is anyone but him who has even the slightest clue as to how much emotional pain I'm really in. Even he doesn't know how much. I'm really hurting right now. I think I have become depressed, and I really don't know why or when it started. I just know that I'm not the person I should be. I found myself lying awake at 3 in the morning, unable to sleep and bawling my eyes out because I couldn't shake the knowledge that I have very few people I can really call "friends". I only fell asleep with the help of a sleep aid and chanting "God is my strength" allowed me to stop crying and calm myself enough to fall asleep. I feel like God really is all I have, and that should be all I need. I still need more though...